I want this more than life.

Really, the only way I'm able to say anything is, not.
In the elevator I put my head against the buttons, and pressed every one.
...I do believe it was some sort of, fear, I've never felt.
Fear of never finding contentment, that you feel daily.
I met you where dreams can't be replaced.
Sliding, moving, falling, moving, falling, sliding, moving, falling.
No sleep or too much, too much in a day. Ashes, ashes, and we all fall down like kids.
Like we were kids.
White walls and light sheets are all that's left in this dark room.
Hands shake and you feel weak and tense, but not me, because
we just all want to be kids.

Feelings:
Content
Excited
Amorous
Giddy
Afraid
Pessimistic
Full
Nervous
Shy
Angry
Ashamed
Confident
Insecure


Thoughts:
5 bites of a cheeseburger
1 Dr. Pepper
1 new comment
1 new friend request
Boy
Messy hair
Constant music
Change
New candle
Bed
No sleep
Work
Average
Long distance
Anxiety attacks
Cramps
0 New Messages

I can't remember what happened that night.


I'm becoming a collector of words spoken by the speechless; sleeves brushing as we pass, a shared glance, our slight smiles, shoulder shrugs, winking eyes, feeling your heart beat.

A touch, a kiss, a tear drop, the silliest face you'll ever make.
Only because I don't want to forget.
While on the subject.
I don't regret a single thing. I'm giving my all and no one else could ever have that, and I couldn't be happier. My love, because it's you.
You have opened my eyes even further to the beauty of love, loving, and being loved. No, really. My love for one person has never overflowed into my being and affected me to such magnitude. Ever. Simply knowing you has made existing so much more exciting, so much more worth it. All you had to tell me was, "It's okay." And it really was. Nothing could bring me down whenever I am with you.

I know you mean what you say, and I do too, just as I'll always be there for you. I don't want you to ever feel like you can't talk to me. We're friends. That's really as good as it gets.
I love you. As a friend. As someone more.
I'm honestly more choked up over this than I thought I would be. It's good. I feel so much.
We're still good. I need to tell you this, because I want you to know.
Who knows? Maybe we will be closer? I sure hope so.
I can't wait to see you.
Love,
Always,
eternally,
and
infinitely,
Me