threeinchestall

At times, I have so many things in my head that I feel petrified. Unable to see what I want or what I should be doing, but I guess our fears are both boundaries and triggers, so let’s go for the latter.


I’ve been questioning the essence of blogging. I guess I’m not talking about photos; because, there, it makes sense for me to speak about something I know.


But here, on my threeinchestall, it’s been feeling.......awkward. Life is not something we can master. So really, is it possible to write about this? And if we do, what’s the point? It's tiring to be so guarded. The sanctuary we used to have before someone could look you up and read your stories.
And yet, when I read other people’s words, they make me travel, discover unexplored parts of the world or even – and perhaps more importantly – unexplored parts of the mind.
It may not be our core competency, but it’s something we can share with the people we love and who love us I suppose. I do feel inhibited when I know that people read these words and take these thoughts. I don't know the purpose for them to, and sometimes I am afraid of what I don't know too.
And I really hope that wherever you are in the world right now, this little space – pointless or not – does bring you happiness, just like my own life does.
I would very much be interested in what makes you write or read a personal blog though.


Anyways.
Lately, I’ve noticed how things have started to settle down into a pattern.


It's one that feels beautiful and soothing. Just like a hot latte does – delicious and warming.
Because, by all accounts, details like this do matter. The smell of cinnamon, the dreams we have, the taste of wild salmon. Those are the only things we should think about.


This year – much unlike what I might have felt before – I thought I would never be ready for autumn and winter. After a brutal transition from sun and blankets on the grass to cold and hot chocolate in an afghan blanket, I didn’t tame the feeling.


Luckily, the beautiful things that surround me might help. Things like seeing the field of pumkins in October, reading ee cummings, sitting on a cozy quilt, gazing at the trees lovely colors while at Snowbird & Park City, eating breakfast for dinner, or drinking coffee in a warm place – to the sound of raindrops hitting the window with a new novel.






In the end, it all seems evident.